slug: discord
translates: discord
lang: en
title: Discord funny moments
description: "Sometimes, people say funny things on Discord. Given that links last either forever or a year (whichever comes first), i have elected to host some of my favourites here."
pageCreated: "2020-04-01"
pageUpdated: "2025-12-04"
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h1.title-bar-text Discord funny moments
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| Sometimes, people say funny things on Discord. Given that links last either forever or a year (whichever comes first), i have elected to host some of my favourites here. All names have been anonymised; my "anonymised" handle here is
span.user-d
b <dearestDionysian>.
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p.user-a
b <awkwardAdonis>
| Can you present me with a reasoned critique instead of just saying "why are you wrong"?
p.user-b
b <beardedBacchanalian>
| No
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p.user-b
b <beardedBacchanalian>
|
span.message-body But here's the thing
p.user-b
b <beardedBacchanalian>
|
span.message-body What's perfect differs from person to person
p.user-b
b <beardedBacchanalian>
|
span.message-body Like one man's hell is another man's pleasure dungeon and all
p.user-b
b <beardedBacchanalian>
|
span.message-body IDK if I'm making sense
p.user-e
b <effervescentEros>
|
span.message-body Please don't say pleasure dungeon
p.user-f
b <floridFaunus>
|
span.message-body Dungeon of carnal desires?
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p.user-g
b <gentlemanGanymede>
|
span.message-body now now capricorn, you know you can't bring guns to school unless you bring enough to share with the whole class
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p.user-h
b <headstrongHephƦstus>
|
span.message-body okay but props to belgium for being so evenly split down the middle
img(src=qua("belgium_split.gif") alt="A map of Belgium within Europe, with the division between Wallonia and Flanders highlighted.")
p.user-b
b <beardedBacchanalian>
|
span.message-body Yea hephaestus jokes are usually split into parts
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p.user-i
b <innocentInanna>
|
span.message-body atheist spaghetti
p.user-f
b <floridFaunus>
|
span.message-body Inanna that's just the Flying Spaghetti Monster
p.user-i
b <innocentInanna>
|
span.message-body just because you are correct
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p.user-k
b <keeneyedKerberos>
|
span.message-body i think it's time to shut off the internet after seeing someone with an mlp pfp declare their love to filipino dictator duterte
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.title-bar-text DISCORDĀ® ā 2020 Oct 10
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p.user-m
b <melancholicMercury>
|
span.message-body if i were kim jong-il i'd consider supporting biden just to fuck with everybody
p.user-d
b <dearestDionysian>
|
span.message-body mercury if you were kim jong-il you'd be a corpse
p.user-m
b <melancholicMercury>
|
span.message-body are you implying i can't effectively rule a totalitarian state
p.user-d
b <dearestDionysian>
|
span.message-body no it's just that kim jong-il has been dead for nine years
p.user-m
b <melancholicMercury>
|
span.message-body FUCK
p.user-d
b <dearestDionysian>
|
span.message-body
| i am sure you'd make an
em excellent
| totalitarian dictator though
p.user-m
b <melancholicMercury>
|
span.message-body jong-un i mean, brainfart
p.user-m
b <melancholicMercury>
|
span.message-body thank you
p.user-m
b <melancholicMercury>
|
span.message-body senior moment
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p.user-d
b <dearestDionysian>
|
span.message-body
i injects highly corrosive acid into your spinal fluid
| :3c
p.user-f
b <floridFaunus>
|
span.message-body
img.inline(src=qua("flushed.png") alt="š³")
p.user-n
b <nauseatedNestor>
|
span.message-body
img.inline(src=qua("flushed.png") alt="š³")
p.user-o
b <obfuscatedOrpheus>
|
span.message-body why do I talk to you people
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p.user-n
b <nauseatedNestor>
|
span.message-body NEMO!!! STOP BEING RACIST IN GENERAL
p.user-n
b <nauseatedNestor>
|
span.message-body RACISM GOES IN #media
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p.user-p
b <persnicketyPerseus>
|
span.message-body orpheus its 11:30 go to the zone
p.user-i
b <innocentInanna>
|
span.message-body what zone
p.user-i
b <innocentInanna>
|
span.message-body the chernobyl exclusion zone?
p.user-p
b <persnicketyPerseus>
|
span.message-body snooez
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p.user-q
b <quiveringQuirinus>
|
span.message-body Iām in my room playing church hymns on my keyboard and I hear my brother playing BIG BIG CHUNGUS on his fucking accordion
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.title-bar-text DISCORDĀ® ā 2021 May 31
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p.user-r
b <rambunctiousRomulus>
|
span.message-body
i illegal whispering
p.user-r
b <rambunctiousRomulus>
|
span.message-body
del.spoiler(tabindex="0") Does anyone have a way around the Economist's paywall?
p
p.user-s
b <steadfastSarpedon>
|
span.message-body I know if you sign up for a free account you get a certain amount of articles per month.
p.user-d
b <dearestDionysian>
|
span.message-body
a(href="https://addons.mozilla.org/en-GB/firefox/addon/bypass-paywalls-firefox/") https://addons.mozilla.org/en-GB/firefox/addon/bypass-paywalls-firefox/
p.user-d
b <dearestDionysian>
|
span.message-body worked for me
p.user-r
b <rambunctiousRomulus>
|
span.message-body I appreciate both of your answers and their... diversity
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p.user-d
b <dearestDionysian>
|
span.message-body I have a take but I donāt know how hot it is
p.user-c
b <capriciousCapricorn>
|
span.message-body Only one way to find out
p.user-d
b <dearestDionysian>
|
span.message-body BBC Radio > BBC Television
p.user-t
b <tonguetiedTelemachus>
|
span.message-body YEAHHHH
p.user-t
b <tonguetiedTelemachus>
|
span.message-body.
good old sleep deprived nights listening to very early morning radio 4
p.user-u
b <ululatingUlysses>
|
span.message-body.
The Shipping Forecast has become the funerary bells for my sleep schedule
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p.user-v
b <victoriousVulcan>
|
span.message-body.
"Land of the free" means nothing when a sandwich tyrant deprives you the right to easily accessible fried sticks of goat cheese
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p.user-w
b <whisperingWadjet>
|
span.message-body.
DIY urinary tract rewiring
p.user-q
b <quiveringQuirinus>
|
span.message-body.
fourth grade problems
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p.user-x
b <xenialXylomancer>
|
span.message-body.
I am half-white and I think that half-white part of me has manifested entirely in me being someone who will defend the majority of coldplay's music
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p.user-v
b <victoriousVulcan>
|
span.message-body
| i got ghosted by the squid facts hotline
img.inline(src=qua("pensive.png") alt="š")
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p.user-v
b <victoriousVulcan>
|
span.message-body what did i miss
p.user-v
b <victoriousVulcan>
|
span.message-body why are we discussing anal beads in #admiral
p.user-q
b <quiveringQuirinus>
|
span.message-body.
chess
p.user-v
b <victoriousVulcan>
|
span.message-body this makes even less sense now
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p.user-v
b <victoriousVulcan>
|
span.message-body.
some would say a Brazilian butt lift is an illegal hack in the eyes of God
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p.user-y
b <ycleptYngvi>
|
span.message-body
| Like, what Shrek did with respect to the Disney Renaissance, the DCEU
em tried
| to do with Marvel, but failed spectacularly
p.user-y
b <ycleptYngvi>
|
span.message-body.
Zack Snyder is less powerful than Shrek, is what Iām getting at
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p.user-t
b <tonguetiedTelemachus>
|
span.message-body They asked for my id at the club. Tried to show them my ego and superego instead but they weren't having it
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.title-bar-text DISCORDĀ® ā 2025 November 2
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p.user-v
b <victoriousVulcan>
|
span.message-body.
the furry porn writing circle #[abbr(title="[sic]") rgows]
p.user-d
b <dearestDionysian>
|
span.message-body.
the writing circlejerk, if you will
p.user-i
b <innocentInanna>
|
span.message-body.
no, i don't think i will
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p.user-q
b <quiveringQuirinus>
|
span.message-body.
at one point my friends asked me to get them connections with the fuzz (furry huzz) at my liberal arts university
p.user-q
b <quiveringQuirinus>
|
span.message-body.
i also made a fatfur joke in the whiplash game we were playing and instead of trying to explain it i just found the subreddit and watched their eyes fill with dread
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p.user-t
b <tonguetiedTelemachus>
|
span.message-body concept of a lolcow who's just a normal guy
p.user-t
b ā³ <tonguetiedTelemachus>
|
span.message-body the truman show
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p.user-d
b <dearestDionysian>
|
span.message-body Smiling Friends has totally defanged the "I'm in your walls" thing because I know you're just looking at porno on your IBM Pentium computer in there
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h1.title-bar-text Footer & credits
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